By Arne Flaaten
Why does it seem like men make more mess than women do?
Maybe we do make more mess in some places but we usually keep it neat and tidywhere we work or where we have our hobbies. We mess more when we are in "female territory", where we for some reason feel that we are guests. And why do we feel like guests in some areas?
Often the woman occupies the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom and the bedroom. She often decides how it shall look, she buys the curtains, she chooses the colours, she makes the ARE MEN LAZY? food and so on. What would happen if the husband tore down the curtains and said they were tasteless and looked horrible? I guarantee there would be trouble in the air. If the opposite happened, she took down the curtains, nothing much would happen. We, men, are somehow used to that. We would adjust to the new curtains in "our" room. We do not feel that we mess in our own domain, when we are guesting the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom or the bedroom. It feels like it's not our responsibility; we have never decided anything in ARE MEN LAZY? there, anyway. It is difficult to make men feel responsibility in an area where the woman has the last and counting vote. Why do men always delay practical work at home?
Most women have heard our excuses: I will do it tomorrow. Does it have to be now? Maybe tomorrow.
This is not because we are lazy, but more like a reaction against a command. We wish to have something to say about things, and the very least we can do is to decide when to do it, since we are not in the position to decide if it should ARE MEN LAZY? be done. We know it is the best time, right now, but do not like that she decides all the time. It is also annoying always to be asked to do this and that. And there is no difference in her voice whether she comments her little boy or her husband. The woman often uses the same tone whether she is angry with the son or the husband. She takes the role of a parent towards both. We immediately remember our mother when she was angry. We do not need a new mother. (Maybe we wish one in some ARE MEN LAZY? cases but it does not do either any good). Men need to free themselves from the nice and easy life together with their mother, where there was no responsibility for anything. So, if a wife keeps up this mothering thing, she either gets a new son or an angry husband.
Why do not men feel satisfaction when cleaning?
We do not feel any satisfaction while cleaning up in her world. That is also why we would rather do it later. When we do it, it is to please her, not ourselves. While we discuss whether to ARE MEN LAZY? do it or not, she often already has begun to do it herself. And now nothing can stop her. Now she will go on until she is finished, and maybe a little bit more. She needs to make herself just a little bit angrier and to hug herself. She is now the martyr, and enjoys to feel the hate against him and put another little note in the "black book".
Give us some of your domain and we will feel different about it. Do not expect equality in the cleaning thing while we are in hostile territory. Give us half ARE MEN LAZY? of the rights, and we will do half of the work. Take a look at these rooms. Does it seem like a man is living there? When a man moves out, the only thing different in a home is that there is more space in the wardrobe, and the house would be even cleaner.
Then there is a woman who has heard about this, and declares that from this minute he has half the rights and tells him to go on with it. She has totally misunderstood. One must start from the beginning and make some choices. Do I need ARE MEN LAZY? a husband, or do I need a butler? Am I ready and willing to take the consequences by giving my husband the right to decide how the bedroom should look like?